We all secretly or outwardly want to be cool, or held in high esteem by our friends, family and co-workers. We want to be accepted, appreciated and to belong. New research surveying people from the West to the East and many countries in between shows that there are common traits of people considered “cool”:

• Open to new ideas, curious, imaginative
• Adventurous
• They look for life’s pleasures and fun
• Extroversion
• Powerful

Authenticity, according to the research, is the core of what qualifies as “cool.” Trust that the person we see as cool means what they say and do because it comes from a true sense of self. When we trust our selves, we can be free to be ourselves. Others can sense that self-trust and self-knowing, and like it, and want to be around it, because they want it for themselves. That’s what I think cool is really about. I love to teach people Compassionate Communication so they can practice being themselves and learn to love themselves. From there, others will love us. We can meet our essential need to belong, first to ourselves, then to others, in that order.