Sue Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight (2008) DrSuejohson.com, illustrates the approach to individual and couples therapy I’ve been practicing since researching adult attachment theory in 1998. The attention to the loving pair’s attachment signalling and response is effective. I take it further by using the lens of adult attachment as an assessment tool for discovering the unmet needs of each person in the couple. Frequently these are needs that were unmet as children. Couple’s empathy for each other grows enormously as they learn of each other’s early wounding, and the habitual blame cycle is broken when love is unlocked and caring returned.