What can you do when falsely accused? Asserting your innocence can sometimes be seen as proof of guilt by the accuser…
“I’d rather die than be falsely accused of sexually abusing my daughter” a client told me yesterday.
Another client virtually lost her mental health when falsely accused of neglecting her children by the Child Protection Service, which threatened to take her children away. A marriage almost destroyed by a constantly jealous wife who accused her husband of being unfaithful. And on the less serious end of the accusing scale, a friend withdrawing attention when assuming that she is being spurned.
I put this video together, or scroll down past it for a solution.
The solution is to withdraw from the Right/Wrong/Good/Bad argument and move deeper into enquiring about the pain underneath the accusation. Touch into your own pain of being accused, the pain of losing trust in a relationship. After you’ve given yourself empathy, ask your accuser about her or his perceived pain.
Turn the accusation into an enquiry about lost trust and connection. Even the serious accusations to agencies of abuse and neglect are originally made by someone close to the family. Move below the Right/Wrong paradigm to the precious need for trust that lies underneath.
Call for empathy, space to learn and listen. See what happens then. As Rumi said, “There is a field beyond Right-doing and Wrong-doing; I’ll meet you there.”
If you need help overcoming a false accusation from either side of the confrontation. You can always contact me.